Why I’m Not Telling Anyone My Baby Name

Now that baby girl’s arrival is right around the corner (I’m half way through my second pregnancy now!) –people are always asking about names. The first time around, we landed on a name we loved and were 100% certain about six months in. We were willing to be flexible if our son arrived and the name we’d fallen in love with didn’t quite fit, but as luck would have it, it turned out to perfectly match him.

This time around, the quest for the perfect name has been way harder for some reason. We’ve combed tons of baby blogs, read off list after list, and looked deep into our family history of names and nothing has really felt just right. We’ve narrowed the field to a few top contenders, but I still feel like the perfect name for our little lady might be out there and we just haven’t stumbled across it. Either way, when we find the perfect name, I’m not going to tell a freaking soul! I learned my lesson.

For example, everyone has an opinion on whatever name you’ll choose. Some will love it, some will hate it. Either way, who cares? Are you really going to change your mind if one of your friends or family is meh about your name choice? No, of course not. So, why even bother yourself with extraneous opinions.

Second, everyone knows someone with “your” name. Once you’ve landed on the name you love, I guarantee you that someone is going to say, “Omg, I knew someone with that name,” or “My friend just had a baby and she has that same name,” or the worst, “This crazy woman I knew had that same name.” I mean, unless you’re picking a name that is so unique and esoteric no one could possibly share it, there is no way this is NOT going to happen and who wants weird or bad associations with the name they’ve picked for their baby?

Lastly, there is a really cool tradition in some religions that forbid parents from sharing the name with anyone until the baby is born because names are so tied to identities that they believe that it should be kept a secret until their child has been ushered into the world. I love that idea. Maybe the baby you bring into the world should be the first to know their own name.

To be honest, my name philosophy can and probably should be applied to most parenting advice that you don’t actively seek out. People always have opinions, some of them are helpful, most of them are not, especially unsolicited ones.




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