Jennifer Lopez Deserves to Date for Fun, Too (Op-Ed)

Jennifer Lopez and Brett Goldstein had such convincing chemistry in their romantic comedy Office Romance that rumors circulated throughout the Netflix film’s press tour that they were dating in real life.

In June, the two appeared on NBC’s Today, where Goldstein admitted he wrote the film specifically for Lopez. Host Savannah Guthrie called it romantic and mentioned that Lopez called Goldstein her “best kisser” among her co-stars on Andy Cohen’s Watch What Happens Live. Both denied they were dating, exchanging smirks and nervous giggles along the way. No one believed them. Still, many wondered whether the chemistry was just a promotional tactic. Remember Bradley Cooper and Lady Gaga in A Star Is Born?

Now, months after the press tour and the film’s release, Page Six reports that the two might actually be dating. They were spotted leaving a Los Angeles party in the same car. Neither Lopez, Goldstein, nor their representatives have confirmed anything. Still, the internet is already convinced there’s a full-blown love story.

If Lopez and Goldstein are dating, I’m all for it. They clearly have chemistry, and homegirl deserves to enjoy her life. But what concerns me isn’t just how quickly another public sighting can reignite conversation about Lopez’s love life. It’s why the world still expects women to treat every SINGLE relationship with a man as though he’s “the one.”

It’s unfair to expect women—Latinas especially, regardless of age—to prove that every relationship will lead to marriage. We never expect that of men.

Lopez is 57 years old. She’s grown. She has been married and divorced four times, and she’s a mom of two. Lopez has lived a full life and has probably learned a lot about herself along the way. That’s not to say Goldstein isn’t what she’s looking for. But why assume so quickly that things are serious between them? For all we know, they could simply be dating casually and getting to know each other. Just because her divorce from Ben Affleck broke so many of our hearts doesn’t mean Goldstein needs to be her next husband.

Our culture treats women’s romantic relationships as evidence of their judgment, self-worth, and personal growth in a way it rarely does with men. And while Lopez’s romantic history has become a huge part of her public persona, it’s unfair to use every new connection as an opportunity to suggest she hasn’t learned from the past, has made bad choices in men, or needs to prove she’s a “woman of value” by making her next relationship last.

Even in 2026, cultural expectations continue to pressure Latinas, in particular, to find lasting love. Family expectations and respectability politics often compound that pressure.

Gen Z has received much more grace on this, but many Latinas—whether millennials, Gen Xers, Boomers, or part of earlier generations—were raised with the “señorita” mentality. Traditionally used to address an unmarried woman, the term “señorita” became associated with virginity through cultural expectations around unmarried women’s sexuality. In many Latine cultures and families, a “good woman” was a señorita: a young woman who reserved sex for marriage. Many of us were raised to be modest, well-behaved, and sexually inexperienced—to be “preserved” for our future husbands. The message was that a woman’s value depended on how little sexual experience she was perceived to have.

These expectations stem from machismo and patriarchy. And while they may be imposed on women less often than before, women are still pressured to be modest, protect their reputations, avoid being perceived as promiscuous, and choose only partners who could lead to marriage. A woman with multiple partners—even if every relationship was serious—is often expected to regret her choices. The public is always doing this to J. Lo.

Meanwhile, a man with a similar romantic history is often seen as experienced or as simply taking his time before settling down. Men who date casually are viewed as independent, confident, and likely to have plenty of options. The more successful a man is, the more excuses we make for him taking his time.

Yet someone as successful, experienced, attractive, and desirable as Lopez is seen as someone who can’t keep a man. People remain fascinated by the idea that, despite seemingly having it all—beauty, success, money, fame, and romantic options—she still hasn’t found a lasting relationship.

But a marriage ending doesn’t mean someone has failed at love. Lopez’s multiple relationships and divorces don’t mean she needs to prove her worth by finding the next man she’ll marry. Her relationship with Goldstein could be casual, and if it is, more power to her. She has every right to explore a connection she’s excited about, even if she doesn’t see it lasting long-term.

Men are often allowed to treat dating as a phase of life, while women are expected to treat it as a path toward a destination. A man can spend years saying he isn’t ready for a relationship, wants to focus on himself, or wants to keep his options open. Even if we think he’s selfish, immature, emotionally unavailable, or a player, we still understand that he’s simply dating.

Women, however, can make the same choices and still have to explain them. Is she afraid of commitment? Too picky? Is she choosing the wrong men? Does she have unresolved issues or childhood trauma? And as she approaches 40, 50, or 60, the questions can become even more judgmental. Why hasn’t she settled down? Why haven’t any of her relationships lasted? Does she regret the way she’s lived? What is wrong with her?

To be clear, women can also enforce the rules that restrict us. We’re not only judged for having casual sex, dating multiple people, or remaining single past a certain age; we’ve also been conditioned to internalize the idea that our romantic and sexual choices reveal something fundamental about who we are.

And listen, I’ll be the first to say women have legitimate reasons to be more cautious about romantic and sexual relationships with men. We absolutely have more to lose: the risk of sexual violence, reproductive consequences, unequal emotional labor, and the possibility of being exploited. Sexual double standards can also have very real effects on a woman’s reputation—and, in turn, her life. Men can experience harm in relationships, too, but women are often expected to manage a disproportionate share of the risk while also managing how others interpret their choices.

Think about how often women discuss their body count like it’s a credential. Grown women proudly announce that they’ve slept with only a handful of people—or fewer—as if it’s a flex. But what they often don’t realize is that they’re essentially telling men, “I’ve been selective. I have standards. I respect myself—so pick me.” Men don’t have to make the same case for themselves.

For the record, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with preferring to have sex with fewer people. I go through bouts of celibacy whenever I’m not exclusively dating someone because I prefer to reserve sex for commitment and emotional intimacy. That’s a personal choice, not a measure of my value. It doesn’t make me better or more secure than a woman who has a booty call on speed dial. Solidarity doesn’t mean we all have to make the same choices—or turn our own experiences into universal truths.

Lopez doesn’t owe the public a successful marriage to prove that she’s finally “figured out love.” She doesn’t owe herself one, either. She doesn’t have to turn her romantic history into a cautionary tale or prove she’s healed and done the work by settling down with Goldstein. She’s allowed to want love again. She’s also allowed to want companionship, sex, chemistry, and pleasure. She’s allowed to discover that a connection might work for a season rather than a lifetime, and to enjoy a relationship without knowing where it will lead. As women, we should allow her that freedom.

As for Lopez, I say, do you, girl. Life is too short not to enjoy a romantic connection for what it is, despite the respectability politics society still throws at us.