Latinas & the Emotional Labor of Being the First to Heal

Women’s History Month is here and it is essential that we honor the strength and courage of Latinas paving the way in mental health and overall healing. I love seeing so many mujeres on social media hosting healing circles, having uncomfortable conversations, and pushing the needle when it comes to emotional healing. Oftentimes these same mujeres are those that are the first in their family to prioritize therapy and emotional wellness, son “Las Primeras”. This is a powerful yet complex journey filled with emotional labor, responsibility and at the same time, an immense amount of pride. 

Choosing (or ending up being) the first to focus on your mental health can sometimes feel lonely and overwhelming. There’s a special kind of emotional labor involved in confronting intergenerational trauma, setting boundaries, and prioritizing self-care, often, for the very first time. Many Latinas tend to face criticism from family members who see prioritizing mental health as selfish or unnecessary, leading to feelings of guilt and isolation. It can feel deeply conflicting when family expectations historically have revolved around putting others first. 

Yet despite these challenges, being “La Primera” also comes with a great amount of pride and accomplishment. We are out here breaking cycles, creating healthier communication patterns, and opening doors for future generations – what a powerful legacy we are creating! While doing all of this, you are not just healing yourself; you are laying the foundation for a more emotionally healthy future for those who follow. 

Being a trailblazer often means walking a path that feels heavy and very isolating. It can seem as though you’re carrying the weight of generations on your shoulders, with very few people around you who truly understand your journey. However, this burden, while it can feel challenging, is incredibly meaningful! The steps you take today, with time, will make each difficult moment worth it. Don’t give up! 

I do admit that the decision to seek therapy or openly discuss mental health can create some tension within the family, especially around relatives who typically criticize your choices or question why you’re investing in yourself instead of others. This can trigger a sense of guilt, especially when you are culturally taught to prioritize family needs above your own, especially as mujeres. 

It is essential to recognize this guilt as a natural response (all feelings are normal!) and not as a definitive truth. Prioritizing your mental health is not selfish – it’s a way of showing yourself love. You are modeling self-care, emotional intelligence, and resilience. Your courage inspires others, even if they can’t see it just yet. It can be helpful to explore ways that you can introduce mental health topics to your family. 

Here are some ways you can begin doing this: 

1. Normalize conversations: Gently weave mental health topics into everyday conversations. It could be that if you share stories or examples they can relate to, they might be more open to the idea of mental health. 
2. Lead by example: If you are displaying positive changes in your behaviors and overall well-being, this can show how much mental health can really help. 
3. Encourage empathy: help your family understand mental health by connecting it to physical health, reminding them that emotional wellness is just as important as physical wellness. 
4. Patience and compassion: remember that change takes time. Be patient, empathetic, and consistently supportive. This can really go a long way. 

I can acknowledge that even keeping these things in mind with family can become overwhelming and draining so let’s explore some self-care tips that “La Primera” can use: 

1. Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries! Set those firm boundaries and protect your mental and emotional energy by clearly defining what you can and cannot manage emotionally. Remember, boundaries are a way to bring people closer, not push them away. 
2. Celebrate your progress – Guilt free! Regularly acknowledge your growth, breakthroughs, and courage in being the first  to heal. Pro tip: give yourself a hug – also known as an angel hug! 
3. Find communidad: Connect con otras “Primeras” through support groups or on social media where you can share experiences and find solidarity. 
4. Prioritize rest and joy: Schedule intentional moments for rest, joy, and creativity to balance the emotional work you are doing. No burn out here! 

As “La Primera,” your path is groundbreaking, challenging, and yet profoundly transformative. You are not alone on this journey. Your bravery in embracing mental wellness is reshaping your family’s history, creating space for a future where mental health is respected, nurtured, and celebrated.

Disfrustalo! 

Patricia Alvarado is an EMDR-certified therapist focused on healing trauma in the Latinx community