November 5th,2013: The night before my open heart surgery.
I was dancing in the shower that evening, flipping out over how awesome the neon pink color of my antibacterial soap was. I was dancing to the tune of my mom telling me to be careful because she didn’t want me to break a bone the night before the big day. God, was I excited. When my mom asked me why, I responded: “Because I know I’m going to be alright. And I know that everything happens for a reason.”
“Everything happens for a reason” is a phrase I live by. Since that night over three years ago, I learned that whatever was happening to me at a given time was going to make me grow in ways I might not be able to understand now, nor could I ever imagine. Was it because of my optimistic attitude, or my 12-year-old worry-free mind? Whatever it was, it brought me to be the strong female I am today. I often find myself trying to explain to others that they shouldn’t worry about their current circumstances because if it’s happening to them, it’s because some greater force believes that they are up to the task. You never know the good you can do, not only to yourself but to others, by pushing forward. You could be that engine that fuels those who have already fallen in the battle between body and mind. It’s a lot easier to say ‘you can do it’ when you feel like you’ve been chosen for the hardest battle of your life but you’re not ready.
“Why did it happen to me?” Or “Why me?” is a common question we ask ourselves whenever we encounter a problem that we just can’t find an answer for. But the truth is, we don’t need an answer for everything, and it’s taken me the longest time to learn that lesson. I remember telling myself not to cry because this was all temporary and I was stronger than whatever was trying to defeat me. I was determined to be great despite all that was going on around me, despite the pain and the fatigue, because I didn’t want to just survive, I wanted to live, and to thrive. When I still wanted an answer, I could hear that voice inside me that told me – “because it’s your turn, that’s why.”
Often, we don’t get a heads up for what’s coming and we don’t even get asked if we’re ready or not. It’s like a roller coaster where you’re never actually ready for the sudden drops. In those instances, we just have to drop whatever we’re doing to focus on these situations, and while it may seem like everything is going downhill, we’re just getting some impulse to rise even higher.
For some it may seem like a punishment or an injustice, then again who said life was fair or easy in that case. Point is, the reason why something is happening to you is not what defines who you are, it’s how you react to it and what you do with it, that will speak about your character. Will you let it knock you down? Will you use it to push you forward? Will it make you back down? Will it turn you into an advocate for others?
So my POV? Don’t dwell on the “why?” because we may never find the answer. Push forward, be fearless, and conquer whatever is trying to conquer you. Be positive and have hope for what the future might bring for you. You just might find that your biggest battle, is a blessing in disguise.