13 Women Share Bad Dating Advice They Happily Ignored

When I met my soon-to-be husband, we hit it off right away

Photo: Unsplash/@alexiby

Photo: Unsplash/@alexiby

When I met my soon-to-be husband, we hit it off right away. Exactly two and a half weeks into dating, and just before we had the “are we boyfriend and girlfriend?” talk, we went away on a weekend getaway. When I told my friends about our plans, they were happy to hear that I found someone I really liked—but some also questioned whether we were moving too fast. When we moved in a month and a half into our relationship, questions of “moving too fast” came up once again.

Friends warned me against putting all of my eggs in one basket (um, what?) and “getting my hopes up” (for what, exactly?) but the truth is that I knew what I wanted in a relationship and I wasn’t going to let their bad advice keep me from knowing what I already knew: That this was the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Sometimes it’s true what they say. When you know, you know. And I knew—which is precisely why I didn’t let anyone’s questions of whether my partner and I were moving too fast cloud my judgment.

Sadly, that’s not the only bad piece of advice I’ve gotten and I’m not the only one. Here, 15 women share the worst dating advice they ever received—and happily ignored, of course.

“Don’t talk about serious topics too early.”

“I’ve always been told that you shouldn’t bring up serious topics with a guy too early on into dating. This usually means don’t talk about marriage, future plans, kids, etc. I think the intention behind this is that people should go with the flow but my hesitation is that I could end up wasting my time with someone who wants something completely different. With my current boyfriend (who I’ve been with for a 2 and 1/2 years), I was very upfront about what I wanted and what I was looking for. I think the first day I met him I was like, ‘I’m not trying to mess around, I’m looking for a boyfriend who isn’t afraid of getting married if life and love leads us that way.’ It was bold and the vodka sodas I was sipping didn’t hurt but, since he’s also a few years younger than me, I felt I had to be as honest as possible from the jump. Looking back, he does say the conversation intimidated him but he knew that it meant that he had to be on his A-game and be committed from the start. So, that’s definitely a WIN in my opinion.” — Jessica


“Wait for him to call first.”

“I was pretty fed up with this advice by the time I met my now-husband. And a friend very wisely put in perspective: If he’s not happy to hear from you, why would you want to be with him?” — Natalia wp_*posts

“Always let him make the first move.”

“I’ve made the first move on every guy I’ve ever dated. Sometimes it’s been a mistake, but it’s always been my choice.” — Mary Ann


“Order the lobster. Bail if he uses coupons.”

“In this day and age, I believe it’s important to be financially savvy. Ordering the lobster to see if he’s cheap or bailing because he uses coupons seems idiotic. Neither shows his true worth (as a person or financially) or demonstrates that he’s money savvy.” — Migdalia


“Don’t talk about exclusivity too early.”

“Give him time. He needs to get to know you better. If all you want is to date someone exclusively and they’re like that’s 100% off the table, that’s good to know on the first date. Men aren’t mysterious creatures that you have to dupe into a relationship. Swallowing what you want and not speaking up is disempowering and dumb. Also, if a guy needs to be duped or convinced over a long period of time about having a relationship with you, you don’t want a relationship with him.” — Amanda


“Don’t have sex until you have a ring on your finger.”

“This advice came from my mother when I was almost 22.” — Jackie


“Don’t respond to a text right away.”

“A friend told me not to respond to a text, and I did right away. She also told me not to put periods or exclamation points because it might show that I’m too into the guy.” — Haena


“The big ‘no-no’ is to sleep with someone on a first date.”

“And I certainly did that, with no regrets!” — Jen


“Let your boyfriend order for you at restaurants because guys don’t like it when women order their own food.”

“I remember when I started my first serious relationship and an older neighbor told me that. I told her that if he can’t handle me ordering my own food, he wouldn’t be able to handle a relationship with me. She was very disapproving and said that with my attitude I’d never get married.” — Awanthi


“Stop looking and you’ll find him.”

“Maybe that works when you’re 19, but after your 30s, you basically meet coworkers, clients, and the cashier at the grocery store. You don’t want to date any of those… so ‘looking’ is exactly how you will find him. If you stop looking, changes are the ‘him’ you’ll find is a married man.” — Stephanie


“Wait X amount of days to sleep with them or not.”

“You do you. You want to sleep with them? Fine. Don’t want to? Also fine. All my relationships have more or less started out as some ‘sleazy’ rendezvous anyway. Plus, I wouldn’t really want to be with someone who had such double standards with regards to sex that they would dump me for engaging in an activity that they themselves are also engaging in.” — Ines


“Marry rich.”

“My grandmother loves to tell her granddaughters to marry rich. She’s 100% not kidding, and even has a whole speech comparing the success of her girlfriends based on how they married. At the time we got married, my husband was working in the trades and she said a few times, ‘I always thought you’d choose someone more… academic.’ Ugh.” — Kelly


“Don’t be your usual ‘aggressive’ self.”

“A well-meaning male friend told me not to be my usual aggressive self with guys, because it was a turn off or might throw them off. To be honest, I followed that advice for a while until I realized that it was dumb advice. If a guy doesn’t like a loud, aggressive, I-know-what-I-want woman such as myself on date #1, then he’s not going to like it when I ultimately can’t stop hiding it on date #33 either!” — Irina

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