Denise Bidot is one undeniably sexy woman. The 31-year-old curvy Puerto Rican and Middle Eastern plus-size model and body-positive activist has always been open about why it’s important to love yourself and how to embrace bodies of any size, but today she’s tackling yet another subject near and dear to my heart: How to feel sexy.
The Latina recently spoke with Cosmopolitan about her sexual experience and what embracing your sexual power really looks like in 2018. Beyond that, she had quite a few things to say about the importance of good sex, (“It took me a while to get there but now I know”) and being raised to believe that sex was for marriage, (“I don’t even remember ever having the conversation with my mom”). But most of all, she talked about feeling “sexy all the time.” Taking a cue from the devoted mom and badass career woman, here are five lessons we learned from Denise Bidot on how to embrace your body, kick insecurities out of the bedroom, and be sexy all the time too.
1. Feeling sexy is being who you are.
“I feel sexy all the time. I feel like sexiness is in my blood. I can be sexy and feel sexy when I’m in full glam hair and makeup for a shoot. I can also feel really sexy when I’m in sweats and no makeup with my daughter. So, I think sexy is who you are. Sexy is an internal thing, Latina woman, you know? I feel sexy all the time. It’s just my truth.”2. Feeling sexy is accepting your body for all that it is.
“I like all my body. I’ve learned to love all the bits and pieces that at one point I hated. I love the stretch marks, I love my ass, I love my little feet. I think there’s so much perfection in imperfection that I have learned to accept all of it.”
3. Feeling sexy is leaving your insecurities out of the bedroom.
“We need to keep insecurities out of the bedroom. I find that when I’ve had the worst sex is because it was all about me. It was all very insecure, I was worried about what I looked like, the angle, like, can I be on top? There are a million things running through my head other than enjoying the moment. So, I think living in the moment and releasing your insecurities, that’s the epitome of having good sex.”
4. Feeling sexy is sharing yourself with someone.
“Sex, for me, has always been very passionate. It’s always been a way to express myself and my most deep inhibitions. But also, sex is something I’m really learning as I get older. I think it’s changed a lot whereas when I was younger it was just being a young, wild girl and now I think it’s more about who I am and what I need. And, you know, sharing that with someone.”
5. Feeling sexy is embracing that love is everything.
“Love is unconditional. Also, love for me is different because I find that — I’m a mom and so for me love for my daughter is gonna always be number one. That sort of unconditional love, I learned, is not something that I might be able to recreate with just some random partner. But love is freedom. Love is everything.”