Dating can be stressful and a little confusing. While you’re getting to know this person, some insecurities might be triggered, communication styles may clash, and if you’re someone who suffers from anxiety, your brain scrambles to harsh conclusions. Here’s a few ways to keep the drama out of dating, whether you’re starting a new relationship or have been in one for awhile.
This is number one on my list, because patience being called a virtue is not an exaggeration. Being patient is difficult — it makes you step outside of yourself to put someone else’s needs before your own, and to understand their point of view. It takes a huge amount of patience to do that in general, but even more so when you can’t relate to what they’re going through or feeling at all. To be in a drama-free dynamic, patience is key! You need to be able to take a step back so neither of you end up jumping to conclusions or expressing your anger in an unhealthy way.
Oh, vulnerability. This is easily the one I have the most difficulty accepting or actively doing with a partner. To be in a relationship that’s healthy and to avoid some unnecessary fights and tension, vulnerability needs to come into play. Instead of having a huge fight over something that the other person is probably unclear on, it takes a fair amount of vulnerability to explain right off the bat what’s going on in your head. It might be scary and it can definitely be difficult, but stating right away what the issue is and clearly explaining why it plays into your fears or worries can avoid a lot of tension immediately and down the line.
A lot of successful relationships come down to factors that we can’t control — and that includes timing. There are times where you might meet wonderful people, but emotionally, you’re not able to take on the responsibility of what is being asked of you in the relationship. Remember that it’s okay! You have to find someone on your same wavelength and who is on the same page as you.
This is a big one — BE HONEST! Can honesty hurt? Yes. But is it necessary? Absolutely. You will get nowhere with a partner if you hide your feelings or don’t openly share your feelings and issues. Be honest about as much as possible with your partner, from sex to if you enjoyed dinner. It pays off in the long-run and prevents some unneeded pain on both sides.
Talking through what your communication styles are is a helpful tool when dealing with another person, whether a partner or otherwise. In this case, think about it like when you’re first meeting a coworker— you know you have to understand their work style, how they communicate, and more before getting comfortable or knowing how to deal with conflict. It’s very similar with a partner. You need to understand the ins and outs of how they communicate in different settings and how they address their feelings in order to come to a resolution or prevent tension from flaring up.
Healthy relationships thrive on balance. You cannot and should not spend every waking moment talking to or with your significant other — it’s unhealthy for both of you, and your other dynamics and relationships suffer (including the one you have with yourself). In order for a relationship to thrive, much like anything else, it needs breathing room. There’s a good chance that you’re getting on each other’s nerves because all you do is spend time with that person. So, give each other and yourself a MUCH needed break if you’ve fallen into this bad habit!