How Latinas Can Cope with the Pressures of Breastfeeding

August is National Breastfeeding Month – a time meant to celebrate the bond between mother and child and to acknowledge the sacrifices women make during this tender, exhausting, and deeply personal stage. For many of us Latinas, the journey of breastfeeding can feel like it comes with so many opinions: family expectations, cultural taboos, advice from the various mommy groups that are circulating, and even side-eyes from strangers. I still remember those breastfeeding days. It felt like I was nursing around the clock, as if the days and nights blurred into one long stretch. The physical pain was something I hadn’t fully expected. I spent hours on the phone with the lactation consultant, desperate to figure out how to make it work. Deep down, I always told myself, “He has to eat one way or another,” and I wasn’t opposed to formula. But the pressure to keep producing, to have enough milk, to meet everyone’s expectations was constant. Society, social media, and even the voices in my own head made me feel like breastfeeding was the only “right” way. 

So I researched every trick and supplement to boost supply, built up a freezer stash, and even kept formula on hand “just in case.” Looking back, those 14 months were some of the hardest of my life – physically, emotionally, mentally. So mujer, if you’re in it right now, I commend you. It truly is a sacrifice we make for our little ones. And yet, behind every instagram-worthy nursing photo or glowing story, there’s also the unspoken emotional toll: the cracked nipples, sleepless nights, stress over supply, and the endless pressure to keep producing that so-called “liquid gold.”

In many Latino families, breastfeeding is both expected and policed. Your tia might proudly remind you how she nursed her kids for two years, while your mom says, “tapate” if you dare feed your baby in public. Formula, meanwhile, often comes with whispers of judgement, as if choosing it means that you’ve somehow failed. 

Add in the endless “advice” online – oatmeal, teas, pills, pumping schedules, lactation cookies – and it’s no wonder so many of us feel overwhelmed, anxious, and or even ashamed. What should be a nourishing act can quickly turn into another space where we are expected to meet impossible standards. 

As it is, postpartum already brings hormonal changes, sleep deprivation, and identity shifts. When breastfeeding challenges pile on top, it can intensify anxiety and even lead to depression. Many women silently carry feelings of guilt – “am i doing enough” – or resentment – “why is it all on me?.” It’s important to name these emotions for what they are: natural responses to a stressful situation, not personal failings. 

Setting Boundaries with Family

Family is at the heart of our culture, but that doesn’t mean every comment is helpful. Learning to set boundaries can protect your mental health and give you space to make the choices that work best for you and your baby. 

• Practice short, firm responses: When someone insists you “just try harder if you’re struggling with nursing” or “cover up,” in public, a calm reply like, “This is what works for us” can end the conversation without an argument. 
• Lean on allies: If your partner or a supportive family member can redirect or step in during conversations, let them share the emotional labor. You don’t have to do it alone. 
• Give yourself permission to say no: You don’t owe anyone an explanation for how you feed your baby, remember that.

What More can Help:

Breastfeeding is as much emotional as it is physical. These coping strategies can help ease the pressure:

1. Grounding exercises: When you notice your anxiety rising – whether during a painful latch or a family comment – try the “5,4,3,2,1” grounding technique: name five things you see, four things you feel, three things you hear, two things you smell, and one thing you taste.
2. Set realistic goals: Instead of committing to an arbitrary timeline, give yourself permission to take it one week at a time – or even one day – at a time. Remember, you know you best.
3. Therapy and support groups: Speaking with a mental health professional, especially one who understands Latina cultural dynamics, can provide not only tools but validation as well. Postpartum support groups are also powerful reminders that you are not alone.
4. Body care: Simple things like staying hydrated, using soothing nipple balms, or scheduling rest breaks matter more than another Pinterest lactation smoothie recipe. 
5. Redefine success: Whether you nurse, pump, combo-feed, or use formula – what matters most is your baby being fed and you being well. You are important!  

The reason breastfeeding feels so heavy isn’t just the act itself – it’s the cultural, social, and personal expectations layered on top of it. As Latinas, we often carry the weight of familismo, wanting to honor traditions while navigating modern realities that we live in. That tension alone can stir guilt and anxiety. Recognizing that these pressures exist outside of you can help. On one hand, it connects us to generations of care, tradition, and community. On the other hand, it can create expectations that make us forget how personal and individual breastfeeding really is. What works for one mama may not work for another, and that truth deserves to be honored without shame.

A final Word to the Mamás

If you’re breastfeeding right now, know this; you are already doing enough. Whether your journey is smooth, messy, short, or long – it is valid. Your worth as a mother is not measured in ounces of milk.
So, mujer, the next time someone tells you to “tapate,” take a deep breath and remind yourself – you’re not just nourishing your baby, you’re rewriting what it means to mother in your own way. And that is something worth honoring this Breastfeeding Month.

Patricia Alvarado is a psychotherapist focused on mental health issues affecting the Latinx community.