With Thanksgiving just a day away, we can’t help but already be in a festive state of mind. With the holidays comes big family gatherings – especially for us Latinos. Every get-together, whether it be Noche Buena or New Year’s Eve, give us just another reason to party and load up on carbs. But like everything else in life, getting together with the whole fam does come with both it’s pros and cons.
Here’s a look at some of the things you can expect to see, hear, or experience at a Latino family holiday party – the good and the bad!
There will be food and plenty of it.
So much food is made that even if you’re running two hours late, you can still expect to find plenty of everything. We’re talking pernil, arroz con guandules, pastelitos, pasteles, empanadas, ensalada de papa, pao de queijo, tamales, tres reyes cake, flan – and just the works!
You’re not eating anytime soon though.
Most Latino families run on Latino time, which means if the dinner was scheduled for 7pm, no one is actually eating until 9. That’s just the way it goes.
There will be leftovers.
And for days so if you want a goody bag, you better make sure to show up with your own tupperware.
You won’t be able to hear yourself talk.
Between the music and everyone’s competing voices, it’s almost impossible to hear yourself talk.
You’ll probably pick up some pounds.
There’s an endless number of carbs, meats, and sweets. That and you’re going to want to try all of it – do the math!
Someone will bring up your weight.
Whether it’s abuela or that annoying, nosey tía, expect someone to tell you that you’re either too fat or too skinny. It’s one of those annoying Latino family things that’s bound to happen.
If you’re a clean eater you must bring your own food.
Don’t expect abuela to cater to your new vegan, gluten-free lifestyle. If veggies is what you want – veggies is what YOU’RE going to have to bring. And don’t expect to get any stove space to heat it up either. You might just get stuck microwaving it and losing half its nutrients.
No one cares if you’re on a diet.
Abuela will still be offended if you don’t have a slice of her tres leches cake. If you’re lactose-intolerant – no one will care. So make sure to have some lactaid pills on you.
Everyone cares if you’re single.
If you’re single, expect to be asked at least 20 times about your relationship status. The “Y Tu Novio?” question never gets old. We’re not saying it’s okay, we’re just saying to prepare for it.
Everyone is concerned about your fertility.
If you’re married and without child, expect to be asked at least 30 times on when you plan to get pregnant.
Your guest will be forced to binge-eat.
Warn your guest – especially if they’re not Latino, that if they don’t eat everything, abuela won’t be happy. In fact, she’ll be right there with your mom pushing more food on them.
Even if no one goes to church, there will still be a prayer.
La Bendición comes before every main holiday meal. It’s tradition but usually too long.
There will be music.
And a ton of dancing too.
There will be drinks.
We’re talking everything from rum, tequila – and of course coquito!
There will be chisme.
Bochinche somehow always finds it’s way into Latino family parties. It’s practically unavoidable.