We live in an altered, photoshopped world where versions of ourselves range from Mayfair to X-Pro II and every Instagram filter in between. At times, you may find it difficult to recognize someone in real life because the pictures in their social media feed are so deceptive. But can you recognize yourself? It’s really only an issue when you begin to lose yourself trying to be someone who you’re not.
Don’t get me wrong, I also filter my Instagram and Snapchat pics, seek the best angles and choose from plenty of takes. Everyone wants to put the best version of themselves out there, but we need to learn that none of this should be for anyone else. Like all my friends say at one point or another “You do you, babe.”
Thing is, there are no filters in real life. While we all may seem amazing in 2D, that extra layer called reality demands for a depth that you may not be ready to face, one where scars, blemishes, stretch marks blend into an explosion of amazing imperfection called YOU. You might not agree with me and that’s fine because that’s the beauty about being yourself, you make your own choices and you do what makes you happy. As for me, I would rather people know the real me, than to have them love someone who simply doesn’t exist beyond photo apps. Don’t you think?
Many people I know spend a lot of trouble hiding the features they dislike. I, on the other hand, find myself many times “leading” with my flaws. Mostly because I believe that once people see how absolutely and immensely comfortable I am with my imperfections, they wont be awkward about them when they come face to face with me. But even I have my days, and while one day I may be feeling ultra-confident and owning every inch of this imperfect body, another, I may be feeling so insecure, that offering my imperfections upfront, and facing possible rejection, can be absolutely nerve-wrecking. It’s all a part of growing up I guess, where sometimes your body and your mindset don’t go at the same pace (sadly).
When you are as open about your differences as I am, word travels fast, and I unknowingly have become the go-to gal for flaw advice, and the stories I hear hit hard. I know that it takes every ounce of courage for these girls to come up to me and own their feelings and insecurities. Friends who have asked for help have shared their fears of not finding love because they don’t have a flat stomach, a curvy figure, clear skin or long hair. Not once have I heard any of them be insecure about their personality, because people don’t even take any time to know who you are and judge you as a whole since they’re too busy focusing on what is skin deep. So while I often speak about self-acceptance, let’s add accepting others to the mix as well. Put yourself in someone else’s skin and understand what it’s like to be different, to be judged, and to be an easy target. I can assure you it doesn’t feel good.
Let us stop being enraptured with the unattainable standards of perfection and rewrite the common saying “to have stars in your eyes” to “to have flaws in your eyes” the definition, I think, would be even more beautiful.