Just when one feels that they have their life in order, life happens. My life currently feels like that one episode of The Real Housewives of New Jersey… you know, the one where Teresa flips the table, and everyone looks at her like if she were some sort of maniac. Except for my schedule and mental breakdowns are Teresa, and I am the table. Haven’t we all felt like the table at any point? We’ve been flipped, thrown and broken by the unjust anxiety that rips us apart from finishing anything on time.
I feel like lately, I’m running on sheer adrenaline. I’m just running on a boost of caffeine and sleep deprivation like if it were my job! Honestly, though, I wouldn’t get anything done if it weren’t for my need for speed when I’m working. Whether I’m writing for HL or coordinating a class party, I need to feel the rush and the pressure of time pushing down on my shoulders suffocating me to the point of asphyxiation to do something well. I like being on top of my things, and the only way I know how to do it is by running on adrenaline. I noticed that I can’t do work in a leisurely manner, I can’t be given 2 weeks to write an essay because I don’t feel rushed… I have 2 weeks to do it! In other words, I’m a procrastinator with a purpose, because I work best, repeat after me “under pressure.” Cue the Queen song.
Don’t get me wrong, I completely understand the fact that I need to be more responsible, but ask anyone I know, I hand in everything on time! It can be one day before, the night before, or 2 minutes before the due date expires! But I gave it in didn’t I? Just please don’t ask my mom because I’m sure she can list multiple scenarios in which she’s almost lost her mind from me not doing things when she tells me and yadda yadda yadda, I’ll get them done sooner or later. But I can’t emphasize this enough, we work at our own pace and if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it! I’ve researched profoundly and found multiple articles talking about “pressure performers” as we, the people call ourselves, and it is psychologically proven—that we are grade A procrastinators, and there is no excuse for our behavior other than “thrill and laziness.”
Maybe, I am unorganized, and I tend to forget everything, and I do things last minute. Then I have a mental breakdown and whatever, but I love the way I work! In fact, it took me two days to write this POV! But you’re reading it! Catch my drift? It’s like math, sometimes the process isn’t correct, but you got the right answer. I’m not gonna sit here and tell you how to live your life, because if you found time to relax and sit down and read this—it’s going pretty well for you. But take some time for yourself sometimes. Because sometimes the due date that is long overdue, is the time that you spend on yourself! So push your responsibilities aside for just one bit, and focus on what you need rather than what everyone else is expecting.