Before I met my husband, I took a five month break from dating apps. In fact, I was well known for it amongst my friends. At some point in the year, I would get all excited and turn all of my dating apps on. I would go on a few dates, but then I would quickly get burnt out and sick of meeting the same old people, having the same old dates. And hence, the break from dating apps. Tinder, Bumble, OkCupid? No, thanks!
Instead, I would focus on other ways of meeting people during my “break” from apps. It’s not always easy to meet someone, though, when you don’t want to log-on your phone and scroll through endless photos. But you still want to be available to meet the potential love of your life (or at least a temporary love). How do you meet someone if you’re tired of dating apps you ask? Here are eight tips that will surely help you get out there more, smile and maybe even fall in love.
1. Put yourself out there in the real world.
The main thing to remember about dating without dating apps is that you HAVE to put yourself out there in the real world. There’s just no two ways about it. If you want to find love (and it’s totally cool if you don’t, by the way), you will only meet people by putting yourself out there. This is as much an attitude as it is a state of mind. Be open-minded to how, where, and why you might meet them… and just get out there!
2. Be willing to make eye contact and smile at people.
One of the key ways that you can meet people, whether at a concert, bowling alley, coffee shop or bar, is by making sure that you make eye contact… and smile. It’s simple advice, but it really works. No stranger will approach you (nor will you be able to approach anyone) without first doing this key thing. Every once in a while, look away from the stage at who else is around or look up from your coffee cup and notice who’s around you. See someone cute? Make eye contact and smile at them.
3. Go to new places and try new things.
Have you thought about joining a bowling league? Really into artisanal beers and cheese combos? Religiously go to new restaurants to check out their Taco Tuesday selection? It’s important to try new things if you are hoping to meet new people. If there’s anything you’ve been thinking of doing lately– DO IT! This is as much about making yourself happy, which will automatically draw people to you, as it is about meeting a potential mate.
4. Remember that rejection isn’t around every corner.
Look, I get it. Rejection is really scary and approaching someone new can mean them totally blowing you off. But the truth is that most people are polite and especially if you follow the eye-contact-and-smile method above, the likelihood of you getting rejected isn’t that high. Don’t approach someone who is obviously busy and remember that if you smiled at that cutie and he smiled back, he probably wants you to approach him.
5. Put yourself in situations where you’re having fun.
You might have fun when going to the gym or brunch with the girlfriends, but this piece of advice is more about getting out there to do activities that you have always wanted to explore. Yes, it’s about keeping an open mind but it’s also another reminder to make yourself happy FIRST. Your happy energy will draw people to you… and who knows, going to that film festival or poetry reading, you might just meet someone who likes the things you like, and it’ll be even easier to strike up a conversation.
6. Utilize the people around you to make introductions.
If you’re at a friend’s birthday party and spot someone cute around the room, don’t be afraid to nudge your buddy and ask her to make a quick introduction. The same applies if you’re at a family gathering or event with coworkers. See someone you like but are too afraid to go up to them yourself? Don’t be shy. Introductions through mutual connections is one of the easiest and sure-fire ways to snag a date.
7. Don’t be afraid to go to events alone.
As much fun as it is to go somewhere with friends (and maybe even easier, if they introduce you around), it’s also important to go to events alone. This might mean a movie night at your local coffee shop or karaoke at your favorite bar, but by going by yourself you are showing the world that you are a strong, independent woman. And don’t you want to attract someone who will like that about you? Plus, you know, it makes it that much easier to be approached or to approach fellow singles at events.
8. Do good and good may come to you.
If there’s one activity we can definitely recommend, it’s volunteering. Volunteering is one of the best ways to get out there in the world and do something new. In fact, you will be doing something that’s good for you and making yourself happy. Plus, hey, you’re making the world a better place! And who knows? You might just meet someone who cares about this volunteering thing as much as you do.