6 Times My Mom Would Have Given the ‘Stranger Things’ Kids the Chancla

Season 3 of  Netflix’s Stranger Things was full of cheers and tears. I loved every minute of it but one thing that surprised me was how these little white kids were really out here in these streets being super disrespectful. As much as I love the entire cast, my jaw dropped at some of the things they would say. And I couldn’t help thinking about how my mother would have straight murdered me if I ever spoke to a grown-up like that. Real talk, there were a few moments when even I would have taken off my chancla. I don’t know about you, but at 32 I’m not letting some 13-year-old with a bowl cut talk crap to me. Nothing truly illustrates the differences in our cultures like the way children are taught to treat their elders. Here are 6 moments when the Stranger Things kids would have gotten a chanclazo from my Mom.

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1. When Mike and El are In Her Bedroom Alone

When we rejoin the gang they’ve all grown up quite a bit. El and Mike are on some young love face sucking and Hopper is not too pleased about it. I know he’s trying to be the “cool dad” or whatever but would any adult in their right mind leave two 13-year-olds alone in the bedroom? Even with the door cracked! My parents had a strict no boys in the bedroom rule when I was in High School because duh. But it’s crazy to me that these are middle schoolers! Mike would have gotten kicked out of my house so fast. Especially when Hopper was trying to have a “heart-to-heart” and he was whispering in El’s ear right in front of him. Can ya’ll even imagine doing that in front of your Dad? I shudder to think.

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2.When Hopper Takes Mike Home

It’s clear that Jim Hopper didn’t really know what he was getting himself into when he decided to adopt El. But who among us can say that they were actually ready for teenage hormones? As per Joyce’s advice, he decides to sit down and have a chat about boundaries with El and Mike. But when the heart-to-heart doesn’t work out, Hopper lies about Mike’s Nana being sick to get him in the car alone. I don’t know when it became acceptable for a 13-year-old boy to call their girlfriend’s Dad “a lying POS.” But a Latino Dad would probably have given him the belt just on principal. I cannot even fathom what my father would have done if one of my boyfriend’s had stepped to him like that. Good thing Hopper is already a Sheriff.

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3.When Billy Flirts With Mike’s Mom

Last season we got to meet Max’s psycho bully brother. In episode one Billy comes on to Mike’s mom really strong. So much so that he offers to teach her the breaststroke *wink wink.* It’s obvious that she’s feeling him despite being married. And it’s plain to see that he’s got nothing better to do than to flirt with grown, thirsty ladies. Yes, Billy has a hot bod, but this guy just graduated High School! Even though Mike’s mom is definitely a MILF, Billy has no business talking to a señora like that. And can we talk about the fact that Mike’s mom is also a grown lady that shouldn’t be scamming on a teenager? I would ask who raised him but it’s pretty clear his dad was abusive and he’s been through some trauma — poor Billy!

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4. When Max Sleeps Over at El’s

In Episode 3 El has decided that girl time is the remedy for Mike’s sudden disinterest in calling her. After a super fun shopping spree at the mall, El runs into Mike in the parking lot and dumps him.  She and Max go back to her place to spy on the boys and to have a super fun 80’s sleepover. After being stood up by Joyce, Hopper drunkenly comes barging into El’s room thinking Mike is in there. Max’s response is “Jease do you knock?” That would have been more than enough to get someone banned from the house. And my mom would have told me that I wouldn’t be able to hang out with my little “amigita” anymore for the level of disrespect.

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5. When Lucas’s Little Sister Erica Says Anything

We were briefly introduced to Erica in Stranger Things season 2, but in season 3 we get a whole lot more of her. She’s a welcome addition to the bunch. And she sure packs a lot of attitude into a small package. But a lot of the time she was not just sassy but downright mean. She’s supposed to be what — 9-years-old? She approaches life and death situations like a champ, and she’s a smart little cutie, but her character heavily relies on the stereotype that little Black girls are more mature and less childlike. The sassy little sister trope is a bit tired here because it never lets up! She deserves more interiority than that. But overall if I spoke that way to ANYONE at that age I would have been grounded for life.

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6. When Dustin and Erica Hatch Their Plan

In episode 8, all of the characters that have been independently investigating and fighting the forces of evil finally come together. Everyone has been through a lot. Nancy and Jonathan escaped the clutches of their possessed co-workers. El, Mike, Lucas, Will, and Max just narrowly escaped the mind flayer. And Dustin, Erica, Steve, and Robin are fresh out the Russian fortress when the adults try to take control of the situation. They’ve already been down in the secret Russian lair under the mall so they know where everything is. Rightfully, Dustin and Erica, let Hopper, Murray, and Joyce know who’s calling the shots. But let’s be honest, Latinx parents would never let this fly. For me to tell my parents don’t worry just follow my lead would probably be met with laughter. And then I would have gotten in trouble for not telling them who I was with and where I was going. It would have been especially bad when Erica called Murray a “bald bastard.” That’s a palmazo right there.

What was your favorite sassy teen moment of Stranger Things 3? Let us know in the comments!