Being in a long-term relationship with another person is never easy. There will always be conflicts and difficulties, but most of them will pass and your relationship may even come out all the better for it. However, there are certain relationships that are simply not good for either person involved. As difficult as it can be to break it off with someone you love, there may come a point where the relationship has become so strained that it is necessary. Here are the top five signs that it’s time to end a relationship that has gone bad.
You Realize You Have Opposing Values
No two people will ever think precisely the same way about every topic, no matter how alike they may be—and in fact, thinking just like your partner is overrated. There is a difference, however, between disagreeing about certain subjects and having core values that are fundamentally in opposition to each other. For example, if your ultimate goal is to settle down and raise a family while your partner is only interested in a casual relationship and has no interest in having children, it’s unlikely that your relationship has a future that will make both of you happy. If you value time together above all else and your partner is more concerned with earning money, regardless of the time commitment it takes, you may be headed for trouble. One person will end up frustrated and, in time, resentful of the other. Unless you see a viable solution that makes both of you happy and that both of you can agree upon, a relationship of this kind has very little to offer. Here is a list of fundamental traits you can ask your about partner to try and discover if you share fundamental values (scroll down to the ‘core values assessment’).
Your Partner Seems to Place Little Value on the Relationship
If you seem to be putting the majority of the work, time and effort into your relationship while your partner puts in very little, there is a good chance that your relationship will not bring you satisfaction or happiness. Of course, it’s good to have priorities beyond a relationship, such as work, family, education and personal goals. However, if you and the relationship always seem to come last to your partner, it may be time to seriously consider breaking it off and finding someone who values the effort you put into making them happy.
Money is a Constant Source of Tension
Anytime two people decide to pool their financial resources together, there’s bound to be a bit of conflict. If money troubles seem to be a constant theme in your relationship, though, you need to seriously re-evaluate how the finances are being handled. Some partners are simply not good with money, in which case there may be a solution in which you, as the more fiscally responsible person, can take over the major financial tasks. If your partner cannot agree to this or, worse, if he or she is simply spending your money frivolously and has no interest in correcting the problem, you may need to end the relationship (or at the very least separate your finances).
The Relationship is Weighing You Down
Of all the potential reasons to end a relationship, this one is perhaps the most difficult to come to terms with. The partner you’re with can be a wonderful person while at the same time holding you back from the things you really want to achieve. For example, if you wanted to move to a new city for a job or educational opportunity, he or she may be reluctant to come with you. In this situation, it’s important to do everything possible to reconcile the problem and find a mutually agreeable solution, especially if the relationship is otherwise good. If this isn’t possible, however, you’ll have to make the very difficult choice between maintaining the relationship and pursuing your dreams. However you approach this delicate situation, try to do it tactfully, as there’s a very real chance that the other person will feel hurt by this predicament even more than you.
Any Kind of Violence Occurs
While realizing that a relationship may be holding you back makes it very difficult to decide about the future you and your partner have together, experiencing violence or abuse of any kind makes that decision very simple. No matter how deep your feelings for another person may be, there is no reason to stay with someone who has abused you either physically or emotionally. Seek whatever help may be necessary to extract yourself from the situation as quickly as possible. The longer you maintain a relationship after the first incident of violence, the more likely it will be to happen again.
Watch this video to give you some additional insight into whether your relationship might be abusive in some way:
While breaking off a relationship may be difficult, these five signs will help you to determine when it is time to do so. In some cases, you may find that a relationship displays more than one of these signs, in which case it is an even stronger indicator that it may not be destined to work out in the long run.