Meghan Markle Shares Previous Suicidal Thoughts and Racism from Royal Family

Meghan Markle and Prince Harry stirred a media frenzy since they went public with their relationship in 2016 and following the split from the Royal family partially due to the media coverage. They sat down with Oprah Winfrey to discuss some of the ugly truths behind their experience with the Royal family and the scrutiny from British tabloids. It has been less than three years since the couple married in an extravagant ceremony at Windsor Castle. At that time she was praised for bringing a modern touch to the monarchy and being a biracial duchess in a family known for its lack of racial diversity.  In January 2020 they announced they were “stepping back” from their roles as senior members of the royal family.  Harry and Meghan, who now live in California where Meghan is from, announced on Valentine’s Day that they are expecting their second child, which they revealed to Oprah is a girl.

We’ve rounded up four of the most shocking revelations from the two-hour-long interview that aired on CBS on Sunday.

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Meghan experienced suicidal ideation during pregnancy

Though she’s opened up before about the toll the role as duchess took on her mental health, this is the first time she’s revealed she had thoughts of suicide. She shared that she brought these issues up to the Royal institution and that she ultimately did not feel supported or protected. “I went to the institution, and I said that I needed to go somewhere to get help, I said I’d never felt this way before … and I was told that I couldn’t, that it wouldn’t be good for the institution,” she said, adding that she went to “one of the most senior people” to raise the concerns.

“Look, I was really ashamed to say it at the time and ashamed to have to admit it to Harry especially, because I know how much loss he has suffered, but I knew that if I didn’t say it, then I would do it,” she added. “I just didn’t want to be alive anymore.”

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The Royal family had concerns over Archie’s skin color

In one of the most shocking but sadly not totally surprising reveals, Meghan shared that some in the royal family were concerned about the color of Archie’s skin. Prince Harry refused to reveal how the conversations went or who made those comments but condemned his family for not speaking up agains the white colonial undertones in media coverage of Meghan.

There were several “concerns and conversations about how dark his skin might be when he was born,” she said.  “That was relayed to me from Harry. Those were conversations that family had with him,” Meghan added, declining to reveal who was involved in the conversations. “That would be very damaging to them,” she said. “That conversation, I am never going to share,” Harry added. “At the time, it was awkward, I was a bit shocked.”

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Kate Made Her Cry

With regard to a story on Meghan allegedly having made Kate cry during a discussion on flower girl dresses, Meghan confirms there was a disagreement but that she was the one in tears.

“The reverse happened. I don’t say that to be disparaging to anyone,” she said. “‘She was upset about something, she owned it, she brought me flowers and brought a note apologizing.” She called that interaction a turning point in her relationship with Kate, who is the Duchess of Cambridge.

“It wasn’t a confrontation,” she said. “I don’t think it’s fair to her to get into the details of that because she apologized. And I’ve forgiven her. What was hard to get over was being blamed for something that not only I didn’t do it, but that happened to me.”

“If you love her you don’t have to hate me,” she added saying their portrayals in the media were very “hero v. villain.”

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She has one regret

Meghan said her one regret is “believing them when they said I would be protected.” “Now because we’re actually on the other side, we’ve actually not just survived but are thriving,” she added. Harry added that he does not feel any regrets about the way they left. “I am really proud of us,” he said. “I am so proud of my wife. She safely delivered Archie during a period of time that was so cruel, so mean.”