Wedding night sex is special… but it can also be an unnecessary tradition that only adds undue pressure in today’s modern world where couples are likely living together (and yes, having sex) long before they actually walk down the aisle. Things are changing and, today, more than half of couples do NOT have sex on their wedding night, according to a survey by lingerie brand Bluebella. So why do so many still view it as SO important and, ultimately, is it overrated or deeply valued?
To find the answer, HipLatina spoke with nine couples who agreed to reveal all of the details about their own wedding night nookie (anonymously, of course) and how they felt about the experience. Ultimately, the answers vary as much as the couples themselves do — everyone has their own opinion on whether or not wedding night sex is worthwhile or pointless. Whether or not you embrace the tradition or ignore the pressure surrounding it, one couple summed it up perfectly: “Well, we’ve been sleeping together for 15 years, we’ve got another… 50 or so years, if we’re lucky, so I don’t think this specific night of sex is really going to make a difference.”
1. The couple who waited a few days.
“For us, it wasn’t anything special, and it kind of felt like a chore that we ‘had’ to do it. We actually didn’t get to it until a couple of days after our wedding, because we traveled for our mini-moon right after our wedding.”
2. The couple who were pressured by friends.
“We actually had friends (a very drunk couple) come up to me [the bride] on my wedding night and INSIST my new husband and I had to have wedding night sex. They were weirdly invested in it.”
3. The couple who stuck to the tradition.
“For us, it was 5 p.m. ceremony, 11 p.m. bar with friends, 3 a.m. sex and 7 a.m. wake up call. Only thing I’d change is that wake up call. Wedding night sex was a no-brainer for us because I really like tradition… as weird as that sounds.
4. The couple who held out… and did it the morning after.
“We definitely tried but my husband was asleep once I came out of the bathroom with my lingerie on, so it waited until morning. We held off for a week beforehand.”
5. The couple who got some nookie in the morning of their wedding.
“We scheduled in quality time for the the morning of the wedding so we literally started the day with a bang! That means we could stay up as late as we wanted and not have to worry about having too much wine.”
6. The couple who crashed and didn’t regret it.
“We crashed… We were just so tired and sleep deprived at that point. We fell asleep talking and laughing about the day. I didn’t really feel disappointed about it, but the venue was my parent’s land so we were at their house and that definitely added another level that most people won’t have.”
7. The couple who kept the party going instead.
“We spent our wedding night sharing a house with a bunch of other people who were in the wedding. We were both so beat after the wedding and after party around the fire that we just went to bed. We’d been together for 5.5 years and lives together for 2. Married sex didn’t seem all that different than the sex we’d had previously.”
8. The couple who opted for shower sex.
“My husband and I were long distance for our entire engagement and we hadn’t seen each other for a month before the wedding and stayed apart the days leading up to the wedding, but I fully expected we’d be too tired and would just wait for the next morning. I was wrong! He jumped in the shower with me and we were off to the races and had a super fun night.”
9. The couple who found it to be really special.
“We didn’t wait beforehand or get any special lingerie or anything, but we did make sure to do it that night based on the recommendation of a friend! Very glad we did… It was really special, because it was the first time as husband and wife (which I’m sure is awesome anytime, even if not wedding night), and that was awesomely compounded alongside the high of the actual wedding. It wasn’t anything unusual in the repertoire but it certainly felt more intimate!”