12 Wedding Traditions Feminists Struggle With

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Getting married should be a joyous time in your life, but it often leads to a lot of stress for women. Trust me, I know. I’m getting married at the end of 2017 and couldn’t possibly be more excited to be uniting my life with my partner. But somehow, even for small and fairly casual weddings like mine, women are burdened with having to do all of the planning and consequently all of the stressing out. Seriously, why is that?

Besides this extremely gendered separation of duties during wedding planning, the truth of the matter is that there are plenty of other sexist traditions that happen during weddings. As a lifelong feminist, some wedding traditions never really made sense to me (like the whole “asking permission” to marry you thing) and others I later realized were really unfair (like the bride’s family being solely financially responsible for the wedding).

While planning a wedding is different for everyone (just like the decision to have kids or even get married in the first place), there are some traditions that you’re probably not on board with if you’re a feminist or just, you know, a proud, independent Latina. Here are 12 traditions that feminists struggle with… And while it’s totally okay to have some of these at your wedding, it’s important to be aware of the choices you’re making too.

Having your papi “give you away”.

While some women wait for this moment, the reality is that it’s steeped in the old school, very anti-feminist tradition of your father transferring ownership of you from himself to your new husband. Um, nobody owns anybody these days. No, thanks!

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