How Cardi B Helped Me Through Heartbreak


Cardi B’s lyrics are explicit and may be hard to understand for those not well versed in colloquial street talk. However, there are lots of lessons women can learn from Belcalis Almanzar. For me, some of these lessons needed to be re-learned after I got divorced.

The first time I heard Cardi’s album, Invasion of Privacy I felt like she was speaking directly to me. I’d lost my self-confidence and Cardi helped me feel empowered. The message of self-worth is interwoven throughout her music. Some of her lyrics should be daily mantras! I was asking myself, “Is anyone going to love me again?” Cardi reminded me, “I’m like a walking wishlist,” and that “I’m worth every dollar.” I needed to hear these words and remind myself that I was amazing.

It took a while for me to feel comfortable being with other men, let alone being intimate with them. I was used to playing the role of a wife and being conservative. Because I was not comfortable with myself, I was not having good sex. All I could think about was my ex’s new girlfriend who had a “perfect” body. Cardi helped me reclaim my sexuality. For Cardi, va-jay-jays are beautiful and should be used exactly as you like. She enjoys sex for her own pleasure. For Cardi, men are here to sexually please women and every female has the right to go forth and have as much sex as she wants! In “I Do,” Cardi says, “I say my own name during sex,” that requires some serious self-confidence and love for yourself. #GOALS

Cardi’s music tells the story of a woman who has experienced anger, frustration, and disrespect in a relationship with a man she loved. She too questioned her own worth. In “Be Careful” Cardi says, “Got me looking in the mirror different, thinking I’m flawed because you ain’t consistent.” But Cardi’s final response to the man who broke up with her is that it’s HIS loss. Cardi raps, “You could have a fortune but if you lose me, you still gonna be misfortunate.” That’s not the attitude I had. I was wallowing in my own sadness. I didn’t understand, I am the real fortune. No matter how many times my friends tried to console me, I couldn’t hear it.

In Ring, Cardi B says, “I’m like gold, I’m life goals, man, I’m chosen, I’m floatin.’” After a 15 yr relationship, I forgot how to be alone. I forgot how special I am. I don’t have to be in a relationship to be complete. I’m in a healthier state of mind. I no longer hold that anger. While it still hurts, I do forgive him. In fact, I still have love for him. But now, I’ve got a pep in my step, my energy is contagious and my confidence is up.

If you met me immediately after my separation, you wouldn’t even recognize me now. Cardi’s music just makes me feel sexy and confident. One night I got dressed up, went to a local hang out alone and courageously left my telephone number for a man. I didn’t ask, I just wrote my number down and made sure he saw it. I thought he was extremely handsome and smart, so why should I wait for him to ask for my number? He was what I wanted and yes, he did call.

With therapy and Cardi, I got through it. I’d be lying if I told you I’m totally over it. I’m not. But the new Elizabeth walks around like she’s worth a million dollars and says her own name during sex. OKURRR!

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