Lola’s POV: Only Cowards Cyberbully

I’m hurt

Lola cyberbullying HipLatina

Photo: Courtesy of Lola Montilla

I’m hurt. I’m so very hurt. And I just want to start it off with an apology. Many of you know that I can have the strongest kickass attitude possible, but today I’m down. I received a screenshot of a message from an anonymous messaging app mocking my scar, and the movement which I stand for, and which promotes that, no matter the obstacles in life, you simply don’t quit.  The message ended with a gun emoji pointing to a smiley face. I usually don’t let these things bring me down, but today it got to me.  And here I am, trying to hold my tears back again.

Last summer it was Yik-Yak, this summer, Sarahah seems to be the app of choice.  It is an interesting coincidence that cyber-bullying starts with “C”… as in coward.  Today, with 15 million downloads this new app provides a comfortable refuge for weaklings to hide behind the safety of an anonymous app to try to destroy my character, and disturb the peace of so many others who now start off their days and end their nights with messages of hatred, insults, and threats.  Trust me, no application exists to allow senders to message you compliments or constructive criticism anonymously.  Those, are better handled in person, thank you.

I’m 16 years old and I look at life with new eyes, because I got to live! I let out this whole new person in me that I didn’t know existed. I’ve traveled to inspire others, to tell them that the they are the only person who can determine where their life begins and where the BS ends. A fire has been ignited inside me that pushed me to move forward and make the best of life.  But when I get these hate threats it’s like I don’t know who I am anymore. Am I completely contradicting myself? Why would anyone wish hate or harm upon anyone? We all have feelings, we can be the strongest person in the universe, but your feelings are always going to be there to remind you that you’re not supersonic, you’re not immortal, and you are not a superhero. We can be at the very top, and something will always be there to put us down.  But will we allow it?

I feel like the words just don’t flow out of me anymore, like this completely ruined me for the day ahead. This just doesn’t feel like me. It feels like in a heartbeat, I let a coward ruin my day. Someone that doesn’t know how to even begin to be a decent human being because to be one, you actually need to have a sense of humanity inside you, at least a pinch. But here he is again! I’m just so darn interesting, he can’t stay away.

But wait, there’s something about this keyboard.  Something about writing this column that provides me with an amazing release, and sense of relief.  Oh honey, I know I said I wasn’t feeling myself, but my 553 word count begs to differ. You keep me on my toes haters, and just like that baby, you gave me another blog to write. I’m in it for the long haul. My heart and purpose are stronger than ever.  Don’t like it? That’s ok. You can kiss my scar. #sorrynotsorry #yonomequito #kissmyscar

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apps cyberbullying harassment lola messaging teen bullying
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