Becoming a mom put things into perspective for me in a way I never expected. Small, petty things that used to throw me for a loop fell by the wayside and huge stuff, like how to raise a good human being, took over my entire life. Going in to 2018 with a baby on the way, I wanted to sit down and think about what I want to do to be a better wife, mom, and ME.
Be more patient
With a threenager, I’m having my limits tested on a near daily basis. But I want to do a better job of reminding myself how new this human really is. Even though it’s hard to even remember my life before my son Luca was born, I want to be more mindful of the fact that he’s barely been on this planet for 3 years and that he’s experiencing so many things for the first time. Emotions, friendships, school; it’s a lot for his little brain to process and to be honest, it’s totally okay if he freaks out every now and then.
Equality in ALL WAYS
I have a baby girl on the way and oh my goodness has it got me thinking about how I’m going to raise my boy and girl to understand that they can both be anything they want and can accomplish anything they set their minds to regardless of race or gender. I recently had a talk with my son about consent. Yeah, he hasn’t even turned 3 yet, but he was asking what it means when I say, “No, don’t do that. Mommy has control over her body and she doesn’t like it when you jump on her back when she’s not looking.” So we had a short, basic chat about how your body is yours and yours alone and how you can decide what you want to do with it, like whether you want to be kissed or hugged or hold hands or play tag. I wasn’t sure he understood but a few days later we were in the park and a little boy didn’t want to play tag with the other kids. Luca came up to me and said, “He has control over his body so he doesn’t have to play if he doesn’t want to, right?”
Road Rage & Driving While Under the Influence (of my phone)
OMG, kids are freaking sponges and in L.A. we spend a LOT of time together in the car, which is awesome for carpool karaoke, not so great for trying to set examples of how to control your temper and not touch your phone. This is a major resolution for me going into 2018 because if your kid sees you do the same thing over and over you are most definitely teaching them a lesson. And I don’t want my lessons to be outbursts of cuss words and anger and/or thinking that it’s okay to text & drive.
Hitting the Great Outdoors
My son loves camping. It’s a wonderful family activity that we all get in to and it gets us off our phones and in the fresh air inevitably doing healthy activities like hiking, boating, swimming or just hanging out around a fire making s’mores (okay, maybe that last one isn’t so healthy). Point is, being outside makes for some seriously QT family time and 9/10 makes us healthier too.
I’m with my kid all the time, but sometimes, I’m checked out. I’m not ashamed to admit it, I think it’s something we all do and it probably preserves our sanity a little bit. But at the same time, I really want to make an effort to be there fully when I’m with my children. Seeing how fast my son is growing up just makes me feel like time is racing through my fingers like sand. I want to savor these moments and see the world through his eyes of first-time discovery as much as possible.
One of the things that my husband and I are super passionate about is travel. Now that our son is old enough to remember significant experiences we are ready to hop on those planes again. Yeah, I might be super pregnant but seeing the world has such an incredible impact on kids and we want to make sure our children have an idea of the how big it is outside of our little family circle.
There is a reason why that ages old adage “Happy wife, happy life,” has stuck around for so long. It’s because it’s true! I really want to be sure to be taking care of both my mental and physical health this year, especially as our family expands, so that I can be the very best mother, wife, and ME that I can be. We get so used to putting everyone else first that we forget how important self-care is. This year, I resolve to make myself a priority and to find a happy balance for my whole family.