Society puts a hell of a lot of pressure on perfecting our bedroom behavior. Magazines tell us to try “10 Amazing Sex Positions Right now,” lingerie takes over our televisions every December to showcase models wearing twenty-pound angel wings. With songs that tell us to “Superman Dat Hoe” and our own parents asking for a million grandbabies by tomorrow, it’s a never-ending stream of commentary — both welcome and unsolicited — about how our life should be between the sheets.
And for what? Are we a culture that’s constantly in need of reminders to have great sex? Or is there another theme at work here — a slightly darker energetic theme running in the subconscious of our culture. In fact, I’m beginning to wonder if this little phrase has anything to do with this overt messaging: “Please your man now or another woman will later.”
Mmhmm. Did your jaw just get tight reading that? Because mine did while I typed it. A cautionary, every advice we’ve heard a thousand times before, like looking both ways before we cross the street, women have been warned repeatedly to meet their man’s sexual needs in the bedroom — lest his disappointment cause him to wander.
It was the theme behind one of the best films of all time — Chasing Papi. Steve did it to Miranda in Sex and the City 2 (don’t even get me started). We sang about almost stealing another’s man with Pussycat Dolls in “Don’t Cha.” And instantly forgave Lorde for being the other woman in her music video “Magnets.” And none of said a damn thing about Robyn’s “Call Your Girlfriend,” because the beat is so friggen good, despite her helping a man cheat.
Oh, it’s so there, in every unsuspecting corner of our life — that narrative to perform in bed or else! Luckily, as the #metoo movement continues to explore the myriad of patriarchal systems ruining relationships, more women are beginning to look carefully at the quality of love in their relationships. They are demanding the mutual respect they deserve and leaving behind the partners who are too immature to reach that bar.
One way they are searching for that respect? By holding it down in the sheets with these eight bedroom truths leading the conversation. Check it out!