Embracing My Soft Girl Era is Saving Me From Burnout

If there’s anything I know about my life in 2025 is that I’ve been exhausted. I’m exhausted from the consistent overload of information I’m taking in that starts with “Breaking News.” I’m exhausted by the constant hustle to do more, be more, and live up to some expectation of where I should be in my life. And I’m exhausted by an overwhelming amount of sensory overload due to the things I have to do, the amount of social media I’m exposed to, and the constant noise of living in New York City. And the only thing that has helped me avoid an eventual burnout is entering my soft girl era. 

For many, the social media trend or lifestyle movement of the “soft girl era” is equal parts embracing your femininity but also a mindset. For me it’s not about pastel colors, cutie accessories, or dressing like I’m in a Sabrina Carpenter music video. I’m good when it comes to my femininity. My soft girl era is about shifting my focus from being consistently in survival mode into a slower way of living grounded in appreciating the small things, physical self-care, and setting boundaries.

I started out small when it came to entering my soft girl era because I found that anytime that I started big on a self-care journey, I crashed and burned. I also found that entering my soft girl era had a lot to do with self-worth. My self-worth was non-existent, leading me to forget to eat, take a shower or simply brush my teeth because there were so many things going on and I had so many things to finish. And I wasn’t prioritizing myself or saw any reason to do so. So I shifted my perspective. 

If I couldn’t do it for me, for the woman that I was now, then I was going to do it for future Lyra. Future Lyra deserved a break where she had a nice meal and some water so she wouldn’t have a headache later. Future Lyra deserved a nice warm shower, clean teeth, and comfy blankets before drifting off to sleep. And future Lyra deserved at least an hour of just laying there without checking her phone because time relaxing isn’t time wasted. Oddly enough, this worked better than any therapy session, medicine, or self-care book I’ve read in my life. 

I felt lighter every single time I took the time to slow down and think about how I could make life easier for future me. And when you’re thinking like that, you forget that you will be your future self. And the more that you feed into that and give to taking care of that future version of yourself, the more you start taking care of your present self. 

Eventually I got to the point where I was doing self-care for the person I am now just as much as I was looking out for a future Lyra. And I realized that in all the research I had done about entering my soft girl era, some people were making it way too complicated, especially if you don’t need tips on how to be more feminine. So I made my own list. 

Here are some starter tips when it comes to changing your mindset and entering your softgirl era: 

1. If it makes you happy, you don’t owe anyone an explanation. You deserve boundaries.
2. If it feels good then wear it, buy it, or cuddle it. You deserve to feel good.
3. If something you are wearing makes you feel uncomfortable, change. It’s better to take care of the problem now than hours later. 
4. If it doesn’t get done today, it will get done tomorrow. And if it doesn’t get done tomorrow, you’ll work on it on the day afterwards. 
5. If you wouldn’t talk that way to 10-year-old you, then why are you talking to grown up you like that?

If none of these work for you, the most important thing to remember when entering your soft girl era to avoid burnout, is that you can Frankenstein this thing. 

Look at the examples above, pick the ones that work for you, and then explore other people who are also going through their soft girl era. There is no one singular list or suggestions that are going to improve your quality of life. It’s going to be a mishmash of things. And as long as you’re not hurting anyone while trying to enter into a mindset where you’re prioritizing a more nurturing and comforting space for yourself, you get to create the rules of what self-care looks like for you. No one else. 

But in case you need a simpler list of things that you can do to enter your soft girl era, I’ve got you. Here are some simple soft girl era tips that cost no money because this isn’t about living a luxurious life. It’s about unapologetically putting yourself first in a world that feels like you’re consistently running on a treadmill with no end. 

1. Look at your closet. If it doesn’t serve you anymore, donate it. 
2. Create pockets of no electronics time. Even if your life is on the computer, you can give yourself an hour out of the 24 in the day to not be connected to the rest of the world and just be connected with you.
3. Wear the comfy socks or clothes because they make you feel good.
4. Lotion your skin after you take a shower.
5. Get a library card and learn about something new because you can. 
6. Create a playlist for a task. When the playlist is done, your time on the task is done.

And in between all of this, drink that glass of water and don’t forget to eat. Future you deserves it. But so does present you.