One thing that is truly offensive is when Hollywood craps all over our stories. You know what we mean, right? They take a Latin cultural story and make it into something completely different. Pixar almost did that with Coco, which is why it took several years to get it made, but then they hired Latinx consultants to get the story to be authentic. The end result was perfect! That’s why we love Coco so much. Why couldn’t Hollywood do that with The Curse of La Llorona?
We were super excited to see that the story of La Llorona was being brought to the big screen, but what we got instead (judging from the trailer) is probably going to be a huge let down. We’re not the only ones that were disappointed. So we decided to dream big and rewrite the movie (sort of) and cast Latinx actors.
Director: Guillermo del Toro.
First off, the film will be directed by Guillermo del Toro because he is the master of scary storytelling. He’s done The Devil’s Backbone, Pan’s Labyrinth, Shape of Water. He’d be the ideal director!
Because there are several incarnations of La Llorona in Latin America, we’d like to take a little plot from The Curse of La Llorona and the old school story that many of us grew up with.
One of the most well-known versions of the story is that La Llorona — whom was also known as Maria — had two small children, a boy and a girl. Maria began a torrid affair with a wealthy foreigner, but when their love turns sour she gets angry. Her lover leaves town and while she begs him to take her, he doesn’t. He insinuates that he can’t take her and her children so he ditches her. Maria gets angry and bitter. She blames her children for her unhappiness, and, in a fit of rage, drowns them in the river. She quickly regrets what she did, in fact, she can’t even believe she killed her own children and is in denial about it. From then on, she lives in hell, wailing and calling out for children. So, in this portion of the story we know exactly who will play this infamous character.
La Llorona: Salma Hayek.
A legend must be played by a legend, and who is more of a Mexican icon than Salma Hayek? She would be amazing in this role. Scary as heck, for sure. As the wealthy foreigner, it would be played by someone who oozes sex appeal. He would also have to have a magnetic appeal that would make anyone do anything to be with him, even commit murder.
Wealthy foreigner: Idris Elba.
Yeah, we’d pretty much do anything to follow Idris Elba.
Now, as for the The Curse of La Llorona we can still use some of that storyline. In that film, a white social worker, who also has two kids, is trying to find out about La Llorona and begins getting haunted by her in real life. In our version the social worker won’t be white.
Social worker: Gina Rodriguez.
We know Gina can pronounce La Llorona without an accent, and we know she’s friend’s with Salma Hayek. Since she is doing more dramatic roles lately, we’d love to see her in a horror film. In the modern version, her children will be played by stellar kids we have come to love.
Child #1: Anthony Gonzalez.
We loved his talents in Coco, and we cannot get enough of Anthony Gonzalez. We think he deserves to be in more films.
Child #2: Lillianna Valenzuela.
Lillianna Valenzuela is like a Hollywood veteran even though she’s only a child. She’s been in “Jane The Virgin,” “S.W.A.T.”, among other shows.
So that’s our featured cast. What do you guys think of this new version? Let us know in the comment section below!
If you’re unhappy with Hollywood’s version of La Llorona, you’ll be very interested in signing this petition.