Getting in touch with your sexual side can be daunting. As someone who grew up thinking that I should be ashamed of feeling any kind of sexual desire, it took a lot of work, self-care, and adjusting to understand that sex is perfectly healthy. After a rut, a breakup, or simply from prioritizing other aspects of your life — sex and intimacy can take a back seat. Unfortunately, it happens pretty frequently if you don’t acknowledge or take care of it! It’s especially important to have this intimacy with yourself when you don’t have a partner — no matter what, a partner shouldn’t be the only reason for wanting to feel this way — it starts with you, and your commitment to your sexual health! Here are a few ways to jump start this journey.
Take a public speaking course
I know, this is terrifying, and you might be asking what exactly does this have to do with sex? When it comes to sex and feeling sexy, a lot of things are at play — one of them is being vulnerable. Can you think of a more vulnerable place to be in than in front of a group of people talking about one subject? Didn’t think so. Taking a class in public speaking heightens your awareness — making you more aware of your mannerisms, what feels good for you, and what doesn’t. It forces you out of your comfort zone and doesn’t give you much of a choice but to be in a vulnerable position in front of others.
Invest in a yoni egg
I beg you all not to listen to Goop — yoni eggs can actually be really beneficial for your sexual well-being! It’s an egg that’s inserted into your vagina (stay with me here) made of quartz or another precious stone. Once inserted, you meditate, masturbate, or do whatever feels right while it’s in your sacred space. Think about it — depending on your meditation practice, you put crystals outside of your body. Why not try a new method that makes you acknowledge your body in an intimate way?
Take a dance class
Much like my public speaking suggestion, a dance class makes you vulnerable in front of others in a subconsciously intimate way. Whether you can dance like Beyonce or you have two left feet, this is one of the biggest tips I give people who have an issue connecting with your body. With a dance class, you have to use different parts of your body to achieve a move or goal. Sound familiar? Much like sex and masturbation, you need to have a very focused ability to make parts of your body move the way you want them to.
Wear something that makes you feel sexy
Whether it’s a cute pair of panties, sweatpants, a crop top, or a cute hair accessory, when you’re feeling truly in doubt about your connectivity or sex, wear something that makes you feel a little cuter. Having to figure out how sexual you are and how to invest in this can be scary — especially if you’re trying this later in life. Wearing something that makes you feel better helps. It gives you the touch of confidence you’re lacking to try something new and to reconnect. The first step is to start small, so allow yourself to take that first baby step with something as easy as this!