First time sex can be awkward. Painful. Awful. Underwhelming. It can also be pleasurable, loving, and truly special. But most of all, first time sex is something that we all remember — for better or for worse. As a Latina, one of the things I remember most about first time sex is talking about it beforehand with my mom. She was thankfully pretty open and taught me all about the birds and the bees (actual procreation) from an early age. But she wasn’t exactly forthcoming with the details about sex and what I should expect, so I was pretty clueless except for what I read on Planned Parenthood’s website and through magazines.
When it comes to having sex for the first time, there are some images that immediately come to mind: Sexy music, candles, and lots of awkwardness. You probably have your own traumatic or funny memories of when you lost your virginity. But just in case you want a refresher in how weird it can be (and how much better sex gets after that first time), here are five Latinas sharing what their first time was like. Anonymously, of course.
1. The underwhelming deed at the movie theater.
I was 15, and it was my first time having a boyfriend. I was “in love” (whatever that meant for that age), and I’d been wanting to lose my virginity for a while. We didn’t have a house to do it in, or a car, so we went to the movie theater. He brought condoms, and I showed up, and we sat in the back and crawled onto the sticky, filthy floor and got the deed done. It was fast, a little bit painful, and mostly underwhelming. We saw The Beach afterwards and I think I mostly fantasized about running away with Leonardo DiCaprio instead.
2. The late bloomer traveling through Mexico.
I was a late bloomer. When I was 25, after some heartbreak, I decided to leave California and travel around Mexico to write. I met a soccer dude at the B&B where I was staying. A few weeks later, I took a bus to meet him in Mexico City and we truly had amazing time together. We ended up staying at a hotel that was super ’70s and kind of scary actually, but I was determined. This guy was it.
The moment itself happened kind of quickly, and not like The Notebook at all. But I was still super aware and too analytical about the whole thing that I didn’t feel completely free. I just remembering thinking “Okay, now it’s happening. Okay now it’s in.”
The interesting thing about it is that I am so glad I waited. I guess some women develop those needs earlier in life, but for me, having sex as an adult was so much more pleasurable because I understood my body so much more than I had as a teen.
3. The awkward sex before McDonald’s breakfast.
I was 18, he was 25. I was excited to finally be chosen. We went to his place. It was awkward and messy and hurt more than I thought it would. He took me to McDonald’s for breakfast the next morning but I wouldn’t let him pay for me. Now that I look back on it, I probably should have made him buy me a damn McMuffin.
4. The uniquely typical experience.
My first time was unique and typical all at once. Me and my ex were like 17 and we both worked at my sister’s theater company. After the wrap party, my mom was too tired to drive him home and literally was like “Can’t he just stay with us?” I was a VIRGIN. And then I soon wasn’t.
Details about the sex are typically awful. He went limp, the condom slipped off and his first words were “… I got money or whatever.”
Yes, this was a boy who had previously been my sweetheart, crazy about me. The fact that he was more into me than I was into him at that point definitely made me more comfortable, although I wasn’t in love. The next relationship was my first REAL love and I was like WHOA when I first “made love” for real.
5. The “let’s just get this over with” one-night stand.
I was 21 years old, recently out of college, and eager to get it over with. I felt “ready” to lose my virginity since I was 16 years old, but I was a bigger girl and very insecure about my body. Finally, I met a friend of a friend at a party I was hosting and, with the encouragement of my roommate who knew I wanted to lose my virginity ASAP, I invited him to sleep over that night.
The sex itself was kind of boring but easy. He was very small down there, which was great because that meant it barely hurt. He went down on me first and gave me an orgasm and then we had sex. I bled a little but he thankfully didn’t notice, since I didn’t tell him I was a virgin beforehand.
Afterward, he did indeed stay over. We woke up sometime in the middle of the night and had sex again, and that was a little better. The next morning, he left and I never heard from him again. Honestly, I am really happy with how it turned out. I had no feelings for him and really just kind of used him to “get it over with.” A month later, I met my first real boyfriend (who I dated for two years) and I’m really glad I wasn’t a virgin by that point.