My Ofrenda Helps Me Stay Connected to My Roots and Family

This year marks the third altar I’ve made in honor of Dia De Los Muertos. I started partaking in this tradition the fall after I graduated from college. During that school year, I took a course all about Dia de los Muertos that further pushed me toward building my own altar. With everything I learned, on top of my family’s experience with grief in the last few years I felt ready to immerse myself in these celebrations as a way to connect to not only my family but my roots as a Mexican American. As Dia De Los Muertos is approaching, I have been reflecting on where I am now compared to when I first started making ofrendas. When it comes to these festivities, while it is a celebration, it is also a deeply personal moment dedicated to people we’ve loved who are no longer with us. I’ve realized that I’ve grown as a person through this experience without even knowing it until I sat down to really think about it. Each year that goes by, my mindset remains grounded in connecting with my roots and my family by building my altar with intention.

Building Bridges with Family

Only in the past few years have I really sat with the idea that I am not the most affectionate or extroverted person which has led to some familial relationships, especially with those who live in Mexico, fall through the cracks. I haven’t been proactive about communication especially when it comes to family I don’t get to speak to or see as often. I remember posting about the first ofrenda I made on my Instagram story and immediately getting a direct message from one of my primas telling me she was happy to see our tio on the altar. I always think of this moment as a personal reminder of why I need to be proactive. This is the family I have. The family that shares the same grief. The family that shares memories, laughs, and long-distance phone calls during the holidays. Dia De Los Muertos grounds me by giving me the dedicated space to think about my family with intentionality and remember to let go of my own hesitance in reaching out to make room for fostering bonds I’ve let sit on auto-pilot for too long. Each year that goes by, I remind myself to send more messages to keep up with relatives and even engage in small ways through social media to remind them that I do think of them.

The Ofrenda: Each Year With Even More Intention

When it comes to building the altar, I enter October with intention. When I first started making my altar, I remember gathering what I could from online shopping or at retail stores. I even made my own cempasúchil flowers in my first year because I wasn’t sure I was going to be able to get fresh flowers. While I enjoyed making paper flowers, I remember feeling like what I was doing wasn’t enough, like I wasn’t doing the real thing. Looking back, that couldn’t have been further from the truth. I think what I failed to realize at that moment was that even though I was making flowers out of paper, the intention in making my ofrenda as beautiful and celebratory as possible was absolutely there. I was determined to do what I could with what I had and that’s what I did. When I went to a panaderia nearby to get pan de muerto as the last part of my altar, on my walk home I saw a street vendor was selling bouquets of cempasúchil and I booked it. I bought my bouquet and made it home to complete my first ofrenda. 

When I think about that day it just reminds me of why two years later I owe it to my family to be as intentional as possible. If it’s possible for me to buy my calaveras or my flowers from a street vendor I will absolutely do that. If I want to craft papel picado or bake my own pan de muerto, I will absolutely do that. It’s all about intention and doing it in a way that’s meaningful. Even opening up the altar for my roommates to also honor their loved ones is fueled by that same sense of connection, care, and community.

Strengthening My Connection to My Roots

Dedicating time to Dia De Los Muertos also keeps me grounded in who I am, where I come from, and why it’s so important to celebrate that. In a time where our community is constantly under attack and there is fear among us, is it so crucial to be loud and proud about our traditions, our history, and our culture. This makes Dia De Los Muertos such a special time of year. The scent of cempasúchil in the air, the sight of catrinas, the warm light from the candles, and so many other parts of Dia De Los Muertos are reminders that our cultura is so beautiful and alive. When I take part in these traditions, I do so to honor my family and to stand proudly beside my community.