How I Used Tarot Cards to Predict My Future and Failed

I walked into Tarot Girl’s dorm room with urgency. She was the go-to tarot card reader at Phillips Academy Andover, which wasn’t saying much since we were only in high school. Tarot Girl waved me in and motioned me to sit down on a wool rug in the middle of her room. She sat across from me and I could smell the lingering odor of marijuana. I was afraid to catch a contact high but I had questions…so many questions. You see, I was obsessed with the occult and learning about my future. Impatient by nature, I couldn’t wait for life to just happen. That felt like pure torture. Almost as brutal as holding my breath while Tarot Girl shuffled the Rider Waite deck of tarot cards.

She set the stack down. “Cut it in two.” I did as I was told. One by one Tarot Girl lay the cards face up. One by one the cards revealed colorful colors that directly contrasted the midnight blue rug. That’s until the 3 of Hearts. Three sharp, silver swords stabbed an already bloody heart. That’s the card that lay in the sixth position; the position that exposes “what lies before you” aka “the near future.” In other words, what lay before me was emotional pain, sorrow, and heartbreak.

“You have to shuffle again,” I demanded. Tarot Girl stared at me with bloodshot eyes. She needed Visine as much as I needed to step away from this crazy addiction. But neither of us were quitting our habit. Instead, she did as I commanded. We repeated the cycle and there it was again, the 3 of Hearts in the 6th position.

“This relationship you’re pining for is going to end in heartbreak,” Tarot Girl slurred. “You have to let it gooooo.”

Ah, letting go. Like patience, letting go is a virtue I do not have. I refused to take Tarot Girls advice. I walked out of her stinky pad and took a bus to a local bookstore to purchase my own set of tarot cards.

For two weeks, I researched the art of tarot reading. I learned that there are many decks, including the Rider Waite, the Tarot de Marseilles, and the Visconti Tarot, and many tarot spreads, like the Celtic Cross and the Relationship Spread. A newbie, I stuck with the basics (the Rider Waite deck and the Celtic Cross spread) and got to work. And by work, I mean I read my tarot cards every damn day.

One cool night in November I did what I often did before bed. No, not pray. I pulled out my tarot cards from my bedside drawer, untied the silk handkerchief that enveloped them, and held the cards in my hands. I closed my eyes tight and envisioned me and my gringo crush, Jim, at the Sadie Hawkins Dance. I planned to ask Jim to the dance when I visited Tarot Girl. That’s what I wanted to know during that tarot reading. Sure, the 3 of Hearts said it would end terribly, but I was a legit tarot reader now.

I shuffled the cards with eyes still shut and thought positive thoughts. He’s going to say yes and this dance will be so special. We’ll be a couple and never forget this date. I stopped shuffling and lay out the cards in the Celtic Cross Spread atop my hardwood floors. In the sixth position rested a beautiful golden cup that represents love, new relationships, and new beginnings: the Ace of Cups. Elated and confident, I picked up the phone, called Jim, and asked him to the dance. Jim said yes.

The next morning I received a call from Jim.

“Hey! Do you want to make plans for the dance?”

“Heeeeeey…..um….I actually called because….I can’t go.”

My heart dropped. I ran to grab my tarot card deck from my dresser. “What do you mean?” I replied, trying to sound cool.

“It’s just not my thing, you know?”

“I guess…but…why did you say yes?” I tugged at the silk handkerchief and struggled while holding the phone between my chin and shoulder.

“You’re super cool, but school dances are whack.”

“I understand,” I replied. I could feel my heart breaking. “I’ll see you tomorrow in math class then.”

“Cool.”

I threw the phone on the receiver and finally unleashed the cards from the scarf. They broke free and flew above my head. I scrambled to collect them with teary eyes. And I hated that moment. I hated not having control. I hated not knowing the future. Because if the future was uncertain, I couldn’t avoid what I hated most of all — rejection.

So, yea. Tarot Girl was right. It all ended in disaster. I pretty much failed to predict the future while she was the go-to tarot reader on campus. Because, as it turns out, Jim was her date to the Sadie Hawkins Dance.