Hello to all my HipLatinas that are reading me today! Let me know if this has happened to you…
I’ve never necessarily had a perfect body and ever since I was little I had been told about modifications I could do to make myself look more attractive. I’ve cut my hair, I’ve let my hair grow, I’ve plucked my brows, worn makeup straightened my hair, and entered intense and unhealthy diet regimens because I’ve wanted to satisfy irrelevant people with irrelevant opinions. And although it is up to us to keep our head up and have a super model’s confidence, we also need to teach people that we really don’t care about what they think of our bodies and it’s not their place to judge!
I’ve written about body positivity and what we can do to keep ourselves positive but I noticed I haven’t written to the people who do the judging and opinions. Today I lost it (no, not the weight.) And it takes a lot for me to say that. I walked into a store asking for a specific outfit in a size Medium and was given the look. You know the look. The raised eyebrows the clenched teeth mixed with your lower lip curved to the shape of a frown.
“Pues si claro, em… tambien tengo otras opciones! Por, tu sabes… por si acaso.” said the saleslady.
Seriously? ‘Other options, just in case’ I know you think I’m too big for this outfit, I know you don’t want me to be disappointed in the dressing room, and I sure as hell know that you want to sell me a more expensive piece that I don’t like just so I can leave the store with a bag hanging from my wrist.
I nod, as I venture my way to the back of the store to give myself a pep talk before starting to try on clothes.
‘Si no te sirve, no es para ti Lola, tu tranquila mami!’ I told myself.
I proceeded to push aside all the clothes I did not ask for and try on the outfit I originally requested, and to my surprise – the medium size fit! (psht!, did I prove her wrong or what?) I come out of the dressing room hella excited to show my mom my outfit. Cool. It works. Let’s do it. I’m done, right?
About to walk out of the dressing room I encounter “HER”. She looked at me ‘con pena’. I could see the judgment in her greedy sales lady eyes, “money eyes”, I call them. Her sundress pooled around her ankles like the Little Mermaid’s evil Ursula, and the look began to morph into her natural facial expression.
“Tu tienes una cara bien bonita pero… O sea yo no soy quien para juzgar…” She knew she had already “metido la pata” but instead of taking it out ‘La llevó hasta home.’ “…Tienes un cuerpo muy bonito pero con unas cuantas libras menos, te verías espectacular.” (translation: pretty face, too fat)
‘¿Qué como?’ Are you serious? Tu me tienes que estar vacilando! Did she seriously just say that?
Oh my God! and my face went from ‘La chilindrina’ to ‘Doña Florinda’ in a matter of seconds.
Who was she to judge my body like that and tell me what to do with it? Last time I checked, I came in for a jumpsuit, not a diet consultation. So the fact that Ursula over here decided to give me her full consultation made me very angry – clearly. If no one asks you for your opinion on their body, please make sure not to give it to them. A “you look good” works better than a “you’d look better if…” any day of the week and twice on Sunday. So don’t be rude, and don’t judge ‘lo que no te incumbe!’ If this has happened to you, just know, that you are not alone. I hope she comes around to find this POV… and I hope it fits!